I think the happiness is expected, but not quite explainable. I still don't know how to quite wrap my mind around what is to come, but I know it will be above and beyond that I thought happiness could be!
Of course there is a bit of fear and anxiety over the surgery, him (and me) being healthy and safe, and bringing him home and figuring out just what we are supposed to do! I know most of that will melt away once we meet him, and I am thankful to be able to have some awesome help while I am recovering and we make it back home as a family. My one big concern is my recovery from my surgery, as I hate to sit around and I know that this will be one time where I will not be able to "get up and go" like I am used to, so that is a bit scary. I have been told to "enjoy" being waited on hand and foot, but that is just not my style - I can get my water/bowl of cereal, thankyouverymuch! :)
And in a way, I am sad that my pregnancy is almost over: I have never said once, "get out already!" because I know that this could very well be the only pregnancy that I ever get to experience, and I want to savor it (the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable!) A bit sad that I won't be able to feel this little booger moving around inside me anymore, or the sheer anticipation of just meeting him and seeing his face for the first time. Plus, I absolutely love my "bump" and have surprised myself that I am more comfortable with myself now that I am pregnant than before pregnancy.
And most of all, even though I will need surgery, I am so, so grateful that we have made it thus far healthy. As I have mentioned before, to grow a little person from scratch and avoid all of the things that "could" go wrong is a true blessing, and I know it.
SO, besides being an emotional rollercoaster, I am hanging in there! I am for sure approaching the last stages where you begin to have more discomfort that doesn't really go away, but nothing that I can't handle. I can tell he is beginning to "drop," and that creates a very weird sensation: it's like you are carrying a bowling ball way down low in your stomach, and all you want to do is hold your belly up - haha. Also, sitting at work all day is becoming very hard to do; I walk a lot at my job, but sitting on the couch in my "Buddha" position and sitting at my office desk are two very different things. I must admit I am SO happy that next Monday is my last day at work!
I am also experiencing more "real" contractions, but they never have any pattern. I have a bit of anxiety over going into spontaneous labor now, only since Puddin is breech and that could present a cord issue (breech babies run the risk of cutting off the supply to the umbilical cord by pushing it down into the birth canal before they are born, which in turn, would cut off oxygen and nutrients to the baby). I don't believe this is a serious risk if we are not trying to deliver, but nonetheless, it's the reason why they don't want you to go into labor at all if you have a breech baby, so I am on high alert for anything out of the ordinary (and like I know what that is with my first pregnancy!)
I hate this picture thing; I can't make it bigger today for some reason :(
P (Pounds gained/lost) - Gained 1 pound; I am at 14 pounds total, so I guess this is my last weigh in, unless they do it before surgery next week!
R (Really missing) - Some energy, but that is about it!
E (Eating this) - Fell off the wagon this week :)
G (Gotta … ) - Do a few last minute "pampering" things this weekend, before I am homebound for a few weeks!
N (Not gonna lie) - I don't have that linea negra line that most pregnant women get. I figured I might not since my skin is so fair, and I was right!
A (About Puddin’) - Puddin' is back to his usual active self, and should weigh over 6.8 pounds and be over 19.5 inches long. We have no idea how big he really is, and my nurse at my appointment yesterday said we "have a good sized baby," even though she didn't elaborate! Most people say I don't look that big, so we may have a Puddin' peanut on our hands, or be surprised by an 8-pounder like me :) His organs and lungs are ready for the world, and his eyes may either be brown, or blue. If they are brown they most likely will stay brown, but if they are blue, could turn a multitude of colors. I am guessing with Anthony's genes we will have a little chocolate-eyed baby, but who knows!
N (Never forget this) - A sweet weekend with my parents, and my Dad coming home from the Brave's game with Anthony just as excited as could be for buying Puddin' his first ever New Era baseball hat from the game. We have the receipt and tickets saved already, and can't wait for Puddin' to wear his little hat once he is big enough!
C (Can’t wait for) - The weekend, my last day of work, and hopefully a couple of days off to just relax before Puddin' arrives!
Y (Yet to come … ) - B-day baby!
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