The day that Nolan was born was a day that I had thought about a LOT. Honestly, I had thought about one day having a child and what it would be like on delivery day long before Nolan was born. Until we became pregnant, the whole thought of being a parent and having children terrified me, so I would always think about all of the "holy cow that is monumental" type moments and wonder what my delivery would be like.
I have already said that having a scheduled c-section was not what I had "planned," but that is how his delivery story begins. We made our way to the hospital super early Thursday morning. Our check-in was at 6:30 a.m. since delivery was scheduled for 8:30 and they have to give you fluids beforehand. I actually slept the night before, which was really surprising, but getting up at 4:30 was still pretty hard. We got ready and kissed Ollie and G and Vegas goodbye, and then just the two of us drove in the dark to the hospital.
It was pretty surreal driving in and knowing what was ahead of us, but thankfully I was just calm and at peace. Usually I am a ball of nerves for anything major, but I was holding it together really well. We arrived and were brought into my tiny "pre-op" room where they started an IV and we met so many doctors I couldn't even keep count. Every few minutes someone else would come in and introduce themselves and tell me they were going to be apart of our surgery team. I wondered how many people does it take?!
Around 7:30 a.m., the doctor that was on-call the day Nolan stopped moving walked in. I was like, "what are you doing here?" I did not like him very much that day, and was shocked when he told me he was going to do my surgery. Apparently, the doctor that Anthony and I were anticipating doing the surgery (and whom I had seen numerous times), was not available, so he had to do it - boo. I will say that he was a bit more personable that morning, but I still wanted my other doctor. I guess the Lord was just preparing me for not having everything go my way already! :) He did an ultrasound just to confirm that Nolan was still breech, and yep, he was.
All of my pre-op blookwork was just fine, so it was just a waiting game until 8:30. I have to be honest and admit that up until about 8:15 I was doing fine. Then, when I knew I only had about 15 minutes before the whole shebang, I looked at Anthony and said, "I kinda want to go home - I am not ready for this!" The weight of everything just hit me at that moment, and I realized there was no turning back! I had sort of been on autopilot until that moment, and I had a few minutes of being pretty afraid.
I walked into the surprisingly large operating room, where it was super bright and buzzing with nurses and doctors doing all of their respective tasks. The nurse helped me climb up onto the table and I waited a minute until they were ready to do the spinal. I knew I would be okay with this, since needles and things don't bother me, but it was quite rough. I guess I had somewhat of a "new" doctor inserting the spinal, as it took her FOUR times to get it in.
Let me just describe this for a second: you sit on the table and slump over your belly so that your spine is rounded on your back. This is already a hard position to sit in as a very pregnant person! Then they insert the needle into the separation in your vertebra in your spinal column. Thankfully they numb you a little bit before inserting the big needle, but the pressure you feel is very strange and still somewhat painful. The first two times they tried I was holding steady and just breathing. The third time the needle went off-center and I could literally feel it in my spine, and that was NOT a pleasant feeling. I held on for the fourth time, but I honestly don't know how much more I could have taken if they weren't successful that time - yuck, it's not something I want to do again! I was so glad when they were done and I could just lay down.
After what seemed like ages they brought Anthony in and he sat in a chair next to my head. I remember it was so odd only being able to see his eyes over the scrubs - you coudn't see smiles or anything, but I knew they were there. A sweet nurse snapped a photo of just the two of us, and then it was time to begin!
I could feel the doctors over the curtain feeling around on my belly, but nothing hurt. I explained it as feeling like little rabbits were bouncing around on my stomach. I had nurses around my head checking on my and making sure I was okay, and one doctor telling me what they were doing behind the curtain.
It honestly took a bit longer than I thought, but finally we were told, "Okay, he is about to come out!" At that moment, I couldn't hold back the tears in anticipation, and just wanted to hear him cry. It took a few more minutes and some pretty good tugging, and then he was out! Anthony popped over the curtain for one picture before sitting back down (I think that was all he could handle!) I heard him cry and my breath got caught in my throat and I just kept thinking "is he ok? what does he look like? I want to see him!"
Anthony then left my side and went to see our little man and watch the nurses as they tended to him. Unbeknownst to me, he had worn a white t-shirt that day and the nurse put Nolan's footprints on it - such a great idea from his Uncle Angel!
It was probably a good 30 minutes before Anthony could bring him over to let me see him, and it felt like forever. During this time I was just being stitched up and recovering from a freak pain attack that came on right as Nolan was pulled out; my chest and right shoulder seized up and I was in excruciating pain. They upped my pain meds and after about 10 long minutes I began to feel better. It was very weird; probably air or something trapped in there, but it hurt!
When Anthony rounded the corner with Nolan I was in shock: he was beautiful! And he had blue eyes! I know they may not stay this way, but they weren't brown to start, and he had lots of brown hair. When the nurse read out his weight and length, my mouth dropped - he was so small and longer than I expected. But, he was perfectly healthy, and that made my day.
After snapping a couple of photos and giving him a kiss, they took Nolan away to the nursery to be cleaned up a bit more and to run the first series of tests on him. I was wheeled into the recovery room to wait until I could move my legs before they would transfer us to our room. I had quite the shakes going on after my surgery, which wasn't a surprise since this usually happens to me with anesthesia. I just lay there with lots of blankets on and tried every few minutes to get my toes to wiggle. It was such an odd feeling to "tell" my legs to do something, but not have them respond!
Anthony led each family member in one at a time back to me just to say a quick hello while we were waiting. The rest of the family in the waiting room got a great show, as Nolan was being examined in the nursery right in front of the huge window, so they all got to see more of him than I had at this point! After what seemed like ages, but was really more like an hour, they brought him back to me. And as soon as I had him on my chest, the huge shakes I was having completely disappeared...
I held him as he slept for a while longer, and then I could move my legs well enough to be brought to our room for the rest of our stay. Everything is on one floor there, so they just wheeled me down the hall and we were in our room. After we got into our room I tried to nurse Nolan for the first time, and thankfully (even considering our long time apart from each other since he was born), he nursed like a champ.
Then, it was time for family to come in and finally get to meet him and hold him!
We stayed at the hospital until Sunday, and were ready/kinda scared to go home. Little man was so tiny he barely fit in his carseat - look at those socks! The chest piece was so big it covered more than the width of his little chest :)
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