The Tenth Day of the Tenth Month...

will most likely be the day that we welcome our son into this world. 

As I mentioned, we have a scheduled C-section due to little man being breech, and his birthday (as long as nothing changes), will be October 10, 2013.  10.10.13.  Pretty easy to remember!

I have to admit, I have struggled with this "planned" surgery.  I didn't want to be the one to choose his birthday; I didn't want to miss out on having that fairytale birth; I didn't want to have to recover from such invasive surgery.

I have struggled with this a lot since finding out last Thursday.  I have been trying to answer my own questions of "why," or to find something, anything, that put it all into perspective for me and ease my own "wants."

And then it hit me:  It's not for ME, it's for HIM.  It's not for ME, it's for him, and it's for Him.  For my son, and for God - this little guy is not for me; as much as I would want to think that, it's just simply not the case.  This little guy is God's child, and it's my job in life to get him here safely and raise him as best I can.

Yes, there will be lots of pain, and even some disappointment at how it all goes down (I am just guessing here).  But no one's health is guaranteed, and the fact that we have made it through this pregnancy healthy and safe is more than we deserve.  I suppose this is just my first lesson in parenthood: yes there will be pain, yes there will be disappointment and some sadness, but that's what you sign up for when you ask for that miracle of a child.  That is what you sacrifice when you are gifted the most precious blessing that you really don't deserve.

And I know that all of any amount of pain, sadness, or disappointment/fear will be replaced tenfold with joy, happiness, love, and utter euphoria at the sight of my son and what he will bring to our lives that we never could have imagined!  So while it's not "ideal," it will be his story and one that we will look back on and realize we couldn't have had it any other way...

It's not for ME, it's for HIM.